I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize