there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
