we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
soo... how was my night?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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