I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize