After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
