Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
