i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Found your dick twin last night
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
