Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
When are your genitals available?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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