I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
