He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
