We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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