No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
