It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
