I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize