This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
