Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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