WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize