i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just had sex on a roof
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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