I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
