you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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