Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
