we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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