Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
