Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
