I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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