pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
