we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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