I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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