Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize