no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
