During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
