i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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