check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
