I have demons in me.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize