Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
