I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
hell yes lets make some ravioli
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
