Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Operation Purity has been aborted
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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