This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
