What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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