Christians are straight up FREAKS
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
