I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
