i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize