Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
