Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I forget how to act sober
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize