Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
They have beer where we have blood.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
