she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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