oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
