She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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