We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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