plz talk dirty to me
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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