I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
