I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize