Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
pray to the hookup gods
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize