Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
