I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize