Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
