I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
