my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
