What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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