Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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