i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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