do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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