Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
