when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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