This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
