Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
