Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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