Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
