Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
