I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
