Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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