just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
home. puking in laundry basket.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
