You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
